He walked down the dusty trail back to the familiar fork in the road which will bring him back to the village. He looked to the other path and saw that it lead through the winding hills of the northern province of Triopia. He wondered if the path would lead him to the swampy southern province, or perhaps to it lead to the eastern province, a volcanic wasteland where little life could survive. He quickly dislodged such thoughts from his head, as he thought it was childish to let his mind wander when he still had his job to finish. He had to return the skull to Scarlett, the Quest Mistress in the village tavern.
The road was almost invisible in the dark of night, he did his best to stay on the trail. The faint glow of glowflies on the long strands of grass helped as a boundary for the trail back towards the village. The lights of the village got closer and closer until he reached the gates.
“Halt,” said the guard at the gate “the village is in lockdown, no further entry to the city”
“What is the meaning of this? I need to get into the city, I have to deliver this skull to Scarlett.” The hero explained
“That is irrelevant, a Baolab is loose in the square. All gates are shut until we can capture the beast.”
With that a loud boom was heard from inside the walls and the guard ran back into the city. Luckily, the gate was left unlocked and our hero snuck inside. The city was almost destroyed, the thatched roofs that looked so quaint earlier that morning were now ablaze and the wooden carvings of animals on the pillars were now unrecognizable due to the sheer number of scratch marks on them. Buildings were smashed and the sky for miles was thick with black smoke.
Our hero knew that the bounty would have to wait, he hid the skull in a nearby pile of hay and made his way to the square. The city was quiet, the guards had probably evacuated the city and they were the only ones remaining, there was however, soft yelling that grew louder and louder as he approached the square, where the guard at the gate said the Baolab was. Suddenly a guard was flung right by our hero, who looked to where the man was flung to see the Baolab.
Although I am genuinely fascinated with the world you have created with these short chapters, I can’t help but think that the main character is rather underwritten. Yes I understand that he is the mysterious macho type (the “Adam” if you may) but there needs to be a bit more than some hunk of junk running around to slaughter some monsters. I feel like just following someone along with no guide of plot seems a little underwhelming, I feel like a solid character would make this story a whole lot better.
ReplyDelete